The Horror at Brora!

Scotland sport fans had a bad week. After watching their national football team lose to Germany 5-1 in the group stage of the Euros, Scotland supporters were gutted to see their Quaich squad relinquish its sizeable lead to the U.S.A. on the last day of competition at Brora Golf Club. The resulting 10 -10 tie, which is the closest competition in Quaich history, meant the Yanks would retain the Quaich for another two years.

“Ah cannae believe it,” said one Scotland supporter, lamenting his team’s collapse. “They didnae even show up!”

After the first three rounds of play, the Scots had built a commanding 8.5 to 3.5 lead, and the Americans were exhausted and beaten down. In the Moray Golf Club dining room after the third round of two-man team formats, the Americans bravely talked of a final day comeback. “You’d need to win six and a half points,” scoffed Ronald “Wee Ronnie” Denholm. “Nae happenin’.” Indeed, in the history of the Quaich, the team leading going into the singles competition almost always wins. The one exception occurred in 2014 in these very Highlands, when the boys from the U.S.A. took five and a half points on the last day in another dramatic come from behind win. “Excuse my French, but I was feelin’ some serious déjà voodoo,” said the U.S.’s James “Sheets” Moreland, who was part of the winning 2014 squad.

With the Scots needing to win only 2 of the available 8 points to win the coveted Quaich, the outcome seemed a foregone conclusion as the teams arrived at Brora for “mano a mano” singles matches. U.S. team Captain Brian “Goombay” Farley, not one for motivational speeches, issued a simple message to his players: “Play better”. The Scotland Captain, Michael “Wee Mikey P” Peyrebrune, instructed his team to “Finish them, lads.”

The teams at Tain. The Americans were told they were positioned under the "Laddie Champions" plaque 😂.  

Weakened by lack of sufficient nourishment and nagging injuries, Team Scotland surrendered several matches early. Ian “Big Man” MacCallum (dodgy hips) of Scotland suffered a humiliating “Dog’s License” loss to Ray “Mundo” Bonilla. Allen “Oor Wullie” Wilson (dodgy thumb) lost 5&4 to a resurgent Goombay. And Scotland’s Douglas “Slicer” Brown (dodgy ticker) could not equal the outstanding play of Chris “Cudman” Van Horne and his trusty 11-wood. When asked to explain his success in singles versus team formats, Cudman said, “It just feels better when I play with myself.”

Wee Mikey P was undefeated going into singles even with the added burden and stress of being host. However, at Brora, he was distracted by thoughts of whether there would be enough wild game terrine at that evening’s banquet and lost 5&4 to Chris “Guvna” Hughes.

The comeback kids at Brora

When Scotland MVP Ronald “Wee Ronnie” Denholm delivered a point for his side, the boys from Caledonia were desperately seeking just one more point from the remaining three matches on the course. First, Stephen “Web” Webster of the U.S. hung on to win his 1 Up match over Tony “Hef” Denson (dodgy vertebrae) despite losing 5 Srixon’s (note: Web later found his lost tee shot on the outward 7th hole in the greenside bunker of the inward 11th hole). Next, Michael “Wee Mikey” Redford of Scotland and James “Sheets” Moreland of U.S.A. battled to a gentleman’s draw (the record setting 12th draw of Sheets’ illustrious Quaich career), leaving the outcome of the Quaich to the tight match between Ross “Rosco” MacCallum and Eric “Swayze” Silagy.

Arguably playing the best golf of his long Quaich career, Rosco was 1 up on Swayze on the 17th tee. But a wayward chip shot on 17 and heroic 5-iron by Swayze on 18 proved his undoing. Swayze won the match 1 Up to become the unanimous MVP of Team USA with 3 total points for the week.

“To be fair,” said Wee Mikey, “Twas a pure scudder.” 

This result will certainly leave some scar tissue on Team Scotland and its fans. They have two long years to think about what could have been.